SSBEW's Cars
by SSB-Episode-Writer
Summary: A parody of the Pixar film, "Cars" Sonic the Hedgehog was a normal racer as he competes against Mario and Sam Speed in order to win the VG Cup. But what happens when he takes a detour down Route NES and gets into trouble?


And now for another great story I hope you people will like. This is a parody of the Pixar movie, "Cars" Here's the cast of who does who.

Lightning McQueen: Sonic the Hedgehog

Chick Hicks: Sam Speed (Sonic X)

Strip "The King" Weathers: Mario

Doc Hudson: Shadow the Hedgehog

Mater: Captain Falcon

Sally Carrera: Sairisa the Hedgehog (Sairisa-chan's OC)

Ramone: Mikey Simon (Kappa Mikey)

Luigi:

Sheriff: Bruce the Hedgehog, Amy Rose

Fillmore: Patrick Star

Sarge: Knuckles the Echidna

Flo: Mitsuki (Kappa Mikey)

Guido: Miles "Tails" Prower

Mack: SpongeBob SquarePants

Lizzie:

Red: Luigi (Super Mario Bros)

I don't want any rude comments about Sonic being paired up with Sairisa. Sairisa is made by Sairisa-chan and she is my best friend. And if she finds out that any reviewers are saying Sairisa is a Mary-Sue, she'll get very angry. I'm pretty sure she put a lot of work into Sairi. I'll try to put in the missing parts as I move along in the story.

* * *

Chapter 1: The Great Race

The scene is very dark as we hear breathing in the audio.

"Okay. Here we go. Focus! Speed. I am speed," scene shows a bunch of race cars go by very fast. "One winner, 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast," camera shows the rear wheel of a race car. "Breakfast. Maybe I should have breakfast. Keep my energy up. No no no focus! Speed!" more race cars go by. "I'm faster than fast, quicker than quick! I am Sonic fast!"

We hear a knock in the background as we hear a high pitched voice.

"Hey Sonic, you ready?"

A door opens up revealing a bright light.

"Oh yeah, Sonic is ready!"

We see a blue figure in a race car as it drives it out of the darkness and into the light. The figure is revealed as Sonic the Hedgehog as he revs up the race car. (You see, this is a mix up of Sonic Drift and Sonic Riders. You'll find out what I mean later in the chapter). The camera shows a huge stadium with cameras flashing all around. At the entrance of the building showed a billboard saying, "VG CUP" A cameraman moves his camera and a big screen shows Sonic getting his pictures taking.

"Yeah!" Sonic gives off a thumbs up.

**4KidsTV Production presents**

Race cars go by the camera as they go by the starting line.

**A Universal Studios Film**

_**Ian Narver's Cars**_ (I couldn't think of any better name)

Sonic is driving his race car as he goes through a pack of a racers. He brakes behind a race car as he performs a stunt on the wall and goes by the race car. He comes up behing a car with a camera on the bumper as he winks at it. Two blonde girls, apparently twins, squeal as they see his face on the camera. The entire crowd does the wave we go through the race track and see many people sitting in the middle of the race track watching the race as well.

"Go Sonic!!" one watcher cheered.

"You got that right!" another watcher agreed.

We now arrive in the pits as the race cars are getting new tires and gas like in NASCAR. But unlike NASCAR, these racers drove different race cars and not the same one. Some drove motorcycles, some drove cars, while others drove in style.

Back out in the race track, a very cool car comes by and taps a driver out on purpose. This driver driving recklessly is Sam Speed. And driving right by him was Mr. Nintendo himself, Mario. Sam goes after Mario as Sonic trails not far behind.

We go up into some studio as we see two reporters talking about the race.

"Welcome back to the Nintendo 400. I'm Perch Perkins here with my good friend, Chet Ubetcha," we see a fish in a uniform with a short guy. "We are at Midway for what it may turn out to be a historic day for racing."

"Perch, I'm very excited right now!" Chet said. "If this gets too intense, I might lose my charisma!!"

"Right you are Chet. Three racers are tied for the season lead," Perch began explaining. "Heading for the final race of the season. And the winner of this race Chet will win the season title and the VG Cup," the camera shows a cup with the same words as the billboard in front of the stadium. "Does Mr. Nintendo, Mario, have one more victory before retirment?"

"He's been Nintendo's Golden Boy for years!" Chet commented. "Can he win one last VG Cup?"

"And there's always in the second place spot, we find Sam Speed. He's been chasing that title his entire career. Sam thought this was his career," Perch said.

We see footages of Sam Speed as he poses for one scene.

"This might be his chance to emerge from Mr. Nintendo's shadows," Chet said. "But the last thing he would expect from is Sonic the Hedgehog!!"

The footages change from Sam to Sonic.

"You know, I don't think anyone would be expecting this," Perch chuckled. "The rookie sensation enter into the season unknown. But everyone knows him now."

"Would he be the first rookie to ever win the VG Cup and land Nintendo?" Chet wondered.

"The Legend, the Runner-Up, and the Rookie," as Perch said this, we change from Mario, to Sam, to Sonic. "Three racers, one champion!"

The VG Cup explodes into confetti as we go back to the race.

Mario is still in the lead as Sam tries to take the lead. But every move he makes, Mario ends up blocking him. As this went on, Sonic drives up and ends up side by side with Sam. Sam tries to get ahead of Sonic as Sonic drives by him. Sam gets angry and drives up to Sonic. He taps him in the back as Sonic spins out of the track and into the grass. He brakes real hard and makes a complete stop. Sam laughs at this but Sonic manages to get back into the pack.

"WE LOVE YOU SONIC!!!!" we hear some fan screeching Sonic's name.

"Nintendo is mine!" Sam said and taps the guy next to him.

The racer spins out and hits the wall.

"Trouble at Turn 3!" Perch announced.

"Try to get through that hedgehog!" Sam sneered.

"Oh a huge crash behind the leaders," Perch said as the whole crowd gasps.

All of the race cars are hitting each other as smoke fills the entire area. Sonic sees the whole crowd and tries to get through it. He changes his car to the board (Sonic Riders) and swerves through the obstacles.

"Wait a sec Chet, Sonic is in the wreckage!"

"There's no way the rookie can make it through!" Chet said. "Not in one piece that is! Unlike me!"

Sonic is going through the wreckage still in one piece as he jumps off a race car on top of another, looking like a ramp. Sonic is flying through the air as he points his finger at the crowd.

"SONIC!!" the same twin girls screeched and squeal.

Sonic is now back in his race car as he goes the start/ finish line.

"Wait a minute, Sonic made it through!" Chet gasped.

"That is a spectucular move made by Sonic the Hedgehog!" Perch had to admit.

Sonic sees his logo reflecting off his car and on the wall.

"Heh heh, oh yeah!" Sonic chuckled.

Now everyone in the stadium is shouting Sonic's name numerous times.

"While everyone goes into the pits, Sonic stays out to take the lead!" Perch realized.

"Don't take me out I can still race," One racer cried out in a stretcher as he is put in an ambulance.

"What do you think boys? Thing of beauty," Sam bragged.

"Sonic made it through!" Sam's crew chief said to him.

"WHAT!?" Sam gasped.

"He's not pitting!"

"Come on, let's get moving!" Sam ordered his pit crew.

"Sonic is not going into the pits!" Perch noticed.

"You know the rookie just fired his crew chief?" Chet asked. "That's the third one this season!"

"Well he said he likes working alone," Perch shrugged.

"GO GO GO GO!!" Sam's crew chief told Sam.

"Look's like Sam got caught up in the pits," Perch continued.

"Man, after a stop like that, he's got a lot of ground to cover. Get ready boys, we're getting ready for the restart," Chet finished off.

An official waves the green flag and the race has restarted. Sonic kicks off to a good start and the race continues on without any wrecks or cautions. Mario and Sam continue to pass the racers in order to catch up to Sonic. But the way Sonic is way ahead of them, they don't have a chance to catch up to him since the race is almost over. Sonic is now heading into the pits.

"You need tires come on let's go!" one pit crew for Sonic said.

"No no no just gas!" Sonic told them and blasts off.

"WHAT!? You need tires you idiot!!" another pit crew shouted to him.

"Looks like a gas-and-go for Sonic today," Chet said.

"That's right, no tires again."

"Now normally I'd say that's a short-term gain, long-term loss. But it sure is working for him. He obviously knows something we don't know."

Laps go by as the official waves the white flag.

"This is it Chet, one more lap to go and Sonic has a huge lead," Perch said.

"You better get ready Perch because we are going to crown ourselves a new champ," Chet laughed.

Everyone is cheering for Sonic as the twin girls squeal again.

"Checkered flag here I come!" Sonic said.

Suddenly, one of his rear tires blow!

"Oh no, Sonic has blown a tire!" Chet was shocked. The crowd gasps at this scene.

"And with only turn to go! Can he make it?" Perch wondered.

"YOU FOOL!!!" the pit crew shouted as one pushes a rack of tires down.

"Sonic has blown a tire! Sonic has blown a tire! GO GO GO GO!!!" Mario's crew chief shouted as he and Sam look at the TV screen. It shows the blown tire on Sonic's car.

Mario and Sam put the pedal to the metal as they began to catch up to Sonic. Sonic is struggling to get to the finish line as another tire blows on his race car!

"He's lost another tire!!!" Chet shouted. "Mr. Nintendo and Sam are coming up fast!"

"They're already at Turn 3!" Perch realized.

"Come on!" Sonic gritted. He pushes a button to change to his board but the car refused to change. "Dang it I can't even change to my board!"

"I don't believe what I am watching Perch!!" Chet said as he and Perch got out of their seats. "Sonic is 100 feet from his VG Cup!"

This race was getting intense as Mario and Sam are catching up to Sonic and not far behind.

"Mr. Nintendo and Sam are rounding Turn 4!" Perch said.

Sonic sees the whole thing and jumps from his seat.

"Side by side the three are and it's it's-," Chet stutters as the three cross the finish line.

"It's too close to call! Too close to call!" Perch said.

"I don't believe it! I believe it!!" Chet started jumping around.

Everyone in the crowd are shocked at what happen? Who won the race?

"It was amazing yet spectacular in the history of the world! And we don't know who won?" Perch chuckled. "Chet control yourself before you do lose your charisma."

"Sorry," Chet giggled.

Footages are showing Mario, Sam, and Sonic crossing the finish line to see who really won. The footage is played back in slow-mo as we see Sonic sticking his finger out to reach the finish line.

"Hey no cameras! GET OUT OF HERE!!" an officer shouted to the camera.

"We're here in victory lane waiting for the results," Scarlett Garcia walks up to SOnic who is resting on his race car as the pit crew puts in new tires for it. "Sonic that was quite a risky move not taking tires."

"Tell me about it," a pit crew sighed.

"Are you sorry you didn't have a crew chief out there?" Scarlett asked.

"Scarlett," Sonic chuckled. "There's a lot more to racing than winning. I mean taking the race for one full lap!? Where's the entertainment in that? No way, I wanted to give the folks a little sizzle."

"Sizzle?" another pit crew wondered.

"And am I sorry that I don't have a crew chief? No! I'm a one-man show."

"Well that was a very confident Sonic the Hedgehog. Coming to you live from Victory Lane, I'm..." Scarlett's voice trailed off.

"Hey get out of the shot!" a cameraman shouted to the pit crew.

"Yo Chuck hey chuck you're blocking the camera!" Sonic told the crew. "Everyone wants to see the Sonic logo!"

"What!?"

"Now back away!"

"Okay that's it!!" the pit crewman throws his drill onto the ground. "Come on guys!"

One pit crew drops the car as Sonic nearly loses his balance after it dropped from leaning on the car.

"Hey whoa team, where you going?" Sonic asked.

"We quit Mr. One-Man Show!!" he answered and walks away.

"Oh okay, fine. I don't mind but who will fill my car up with gas?" everyone laughes at his joke. "So long Chuck."

"My name is not Chuck!!"

"Whatever," Sonic rolled his eyes.

"Hey Sonic, yo hedgehog," Sam calls Sonic. "Seriously, that was some racing out there, BY ME!!!" Sam laughed. "Welcome to the Speed era baby! VG Cup, is mine! Hey guys, how would my car look in Nintendo Red, NINTENDO RED!!!"

"In your dreams Jet," Sonic rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, wait? Jet what does he mean by Jet?" Sam wondered.

"Because sonic is always faster than a jet!!" Sonic cheered and began getting more pictures taken.

"Seriously, what does he mean by that?" Sam wondered.

Sam's pit crew shook their heads in disagreement.

"Show us the logo Sonic!"

Sonic posed right next to his car. He began getting his picture taken loads of times.

We go somewhere in Victory Lane where Mario is with Princess Peach, talking to Ian Narver.

"Boy that was some racing you did back there," Ian commented. "You sure made Nintendo proud. Thank you Mr. Nintendo."

"Thank you Ian. You've-a been to me all these-a years," Mario said.

"Whatever happens, you're a winner to me," Peach patted Mario's hat.

"Thanks-a Peach. It would-a be nothing without-a you," Mario thanked her.

Sonic is still getting his pictures taken as the two twin girls run up to him.

"I'm Ondine!"

"I'm Atraya!"

(I took these names off two girls I know in high school. No rude comments okay?)

"We're like your biggest fans!"

"Oh I like being me," Sonic groaned happily.

The security officers took the girls away.

"WE LOVE YOU SONIC!!!!"

"Hey Sonic, you are one gutsy racer," Mario walks up to him.

"Oh hey Mario!" Sonic greeted him.

"You have-a more talent than a racer, than anyone of-a us do."

"Really? Oh that's-," Sonic was about to talk but Mario stopped him.

"But-a you're stupid-a," Mario added.

"Excuse me?"

"This-a isn't a one-man show! You need to-a wise up, get a crew chief, and a good team. And then..."

Sonic looks at the Nintendo crew as Mario's voice fades.

"Good team," Sonic repeated.

We see Sonic's imagnation as he becomes the new face of Nintendo. Magazines would be showing Sonic as Nintendo's new racer. And it gets more interesting as he imagines the whole planet under attack by robots. He flies into the scene and becomes Super Sonic. He destroys all of the robots and we change to Hollywood as he autographs the cement.

"...you figure that out and-a you're going to be okay," Mario finishes as we return to the real world.

"Huh? Oh yeah! that is some spectacular advice!" Sonic lied, not knowing what the heck Mario was saying. "Thanks Mario."

The intercom goes off and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in VG Cup history."

"A rookie has won the VG Cup," Sonic whispered.

Sonic runs out through the banners and into the crowd.

"We have a three-way tie!"

Sonic is aghasted at what he heard as confetti shoots and Mario and Sam walk out next to Sonic.

"Hey Sonic, that must be very embarrassing," Sam chuckled. "But I wouldn't worry about it because I didn't do it!"

"The officials have determined that a three-way tie breaker race between the three leaders will be held in California in one week."

"Well thank you!" Sam waves at the camera. "Thank you very much! You're too kind! Hey hedgehog, first one to California gets Nintendo all to himself. Ah no not me! Why? Because you rock!" Sam shouts to the people.

Fireworks go off into the air.

"Oh yeah! Whoo!" someone driving a dirigible sees the whole scene.

"First one to California gets Nintendo all to himself," Sonic repeated Sam's words in a rude way. "Sheesh that guy's annoying like his stupid nephew Chris. Oh we'll see who gets to California first Sam." He walks up to an empty parking spot. "What the?"

"Hey Sonic!!" We see a sponge in clothes walking up to Sonic. "Congratulations on the tie!"

"I don't want to talk about it. Come on SpongeBob, let's get moving. And what did you do to my trailer?"

"Trailer?" SpongeBob wondered. "Oh the trailer! I parked it beneath your sponsor's tent."

"What!?"

"Well you have to make your personal appearance," SpongeBob shrugged.

"No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!" Sonic gasped.

"Yes yes yes yes!" Sonic is on a commercial as he explains some product.

(I don't feel like having Sonic explain the product. Mostly because I have no idea what to use!)

The commercial ends on a plasma TV as we see a bunch of old video game characters laughing.

"Ugh, I hate these old video game characters. This is not good for my image!" Sonic groaned.

"Well they did give you your big break," SpongeBob tried to cheer up Sonic. "Besides, it's on your contract."

"Would you stop that please? Just get the trailer hooked up to the truck," Sonic ordered him.

"Just remember folks, get renewed and try not to get old and boring!" the sponsors said as Sonic tries to make it past the people by hiding behind a billboard of himself. 'Til Sonic accidentally drops the board and showing himself. "Hey there he is!!"

Sonic smiles nervously as he tries to get by the people who are old and boring. Sonic is doing his best to not get touched by them.

"Yeah, give me room guys."

"Sonic you're the greatest!!" a very old VG character smiled.

"Uh yeah sure uh, Steve," Sonic said.

"He knows my name. He knows my name!!" Steve wailed happily as he loses color.

"You're the greatest Sonic! We might even give your car headlights!"

"Are you saying race cars don't have headlights?" the short guy asked.

"No! They're just stickers!" the tall guy said

"You know. Race cars don't need headlights because the track is always lit," Sonic said sarcastically.

"Well my brother needs headlights for his car. But he doesn't own a car!!" the short guy laughed.

Everyone laughs as Sonic forces a laugh.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Sonic the Hedgehog!!" the short guy announced.

A spotlight focuses on Sonic.

"You know, the VG Renewal Ointment Team ran a great race. And remember, with a little Renewal, and an insane ammount of luck," Sonic gritted through his teeth. "you could look many new characters. Oh yeah."

"Great job Sonic. We're looking forward to another great year just like this one!" the tall guy told Sonic as Sonic hopped into his race car and backed into the trailer.

"Not on your life," Sonic said.

The trailer drives away from the tent.

"Don't drive like my brother!" the short guy called out.

"And don't drive like _my_ brother!" the tall guy repeated.

"California, here we come!" SpongeBob said cheerfully.

"Nintendo, here we come," Sonic sounded like he was correcting SpongeBob.


End file.
